Laina Turner-Molaski

Those who know me know I’m not a big fan of the warm and fuzzy. However, my blog post today is all about the importance of connection and relationships. With my background in HR I talk a lot of Human Capital, essentially the ability to measure return on employees. After attending a fantastic Rainmakers event this morning I started to think about the importance of Emotional Capital, which by my made up definition is the amount of the warm and fuzzy we get from others. Last night and again this morning I received that in abundance.
Sometimes life gets so busy I tend to not think about the people around me and how truly important they are to my well being. At the beginning of the year I had a conversation with someone about how many friends I had and I remember replying that I had a lot of acquaintances but not really friends. The person I was talking to seemed to find that strange and asked me what my definition was of friend. I found I really didn’t have one but I just knew I didn’t have any. Their reply to me was they thought that was sad. That conversation has stuck with me all year and has replayed itself in my head almost daily as I have come to realize that I have a lot of great friends. More than most people and probably more than I deserve because the other thing I have learned is friendship is a two way street. Real friends are tough on you to make you a better person and are with you every step of the way on your journey. Friendship, like any relationship, is not easy.
I saw a quote the other day and forgive me for not remembering the author but it said “Friends are the ones who love you when you don’t love yourself” and nothing could be truer. This past year I have found so many people who love me in spite of the fact I thought of them as acquaintances rather than true friends. These people have spent the year investing in my Emotional Capital in a year when I have been bankrupt. I can’t express how lucky I am that these investors believed in me despite of my beliefs in myself.
As this year quickly starts to wind down remember we all need an investment in our Emotional Capital. My goal for the remainder of the year is daily to thank those people who have made an investment in me with no expectation of return.
Today I want to thank Lorraine Ball who was the inspiration for this post and although we don’t know each other extremely well (yet) has been supportive of everything I have asked of her. Selfishly, from her heart.
Thanks Lorraine!!
Laina

I read an article the other day about the importance of staying positive in this current economic environment. You read all that stuff about the Laws of Attraction and while you may dismiss some of it as hogwash (yes I borrowed that from my grandmother) it is true that positivity breeds positivity and the opposite is true. Or else they wouldn’t have come up with the saying one bad apple spoils the bunch.

I have heard a lot of people comment lately about the upcoming holidays and how it is going to be more stressful than normal this year because of financial constraints. Well life is stressful and the worst stress is usually caused by financial issues so what can you do. If you maintain a positive attitude, and just as importantly, TAKE ACTION, to your goals. It will happen.

I stay positive by remembering all the good things I do have instead of focusing on the negative. What do you do? Share with us so maybe you can help someone.
Laina

Am I really happy? Actually yes. Although it is only 6:45am so not too much has happened to ruin my day yet. Not to be pessimistic but man, life has been interesting to say the least. I saw a quote by Mother Teresa awhile back that said, “God only gives me what I can handle. I wish he didn’t trust me so much.” Isn’t that the truth.

So this week my “stuff” to handle is getting caught up and staying caught up.

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Laina

“Ever notice how ‘What the hell’ is always the right answer?”
— Marilyn Monroe

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Sir Winston Churchill

Work as if it was your first day.
Forgive as soon as possible.
Love without boundaries.
Laugh without control
and never stop smiling.

One of my favorite inspirational books is This Is Not the Life I Ordered. It is simply a journaling of the main characters and their life stories and their journey’s and how they persevered and were able to receive strength from each other in order to make it through those times of success and failure. I would encourage you to pick up a copy as it is one of those books that is good to have on the book shelf for those times you need a little pick me up. Let’s take today for example. It’s Monday, and because of a lot of craziness in my life, I definitely needed some inspiration to get me going. Throughout this book are quotes that I enjoy and the one today that caught my eye was from Cicely Tyson. It says “Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They’re what make the instrument stretch- what make you go beyond the norm.” What it said to me today is that instead of letting those challenges get us down we need to look at them as ways to make us better. It’s not always easy but it’s a better alternative than being sad and depressed about what might seem like an insurmountable challenge.

Laina

Chiczofrenic – Barbie & Ken

We all remember back when we were young and it was all about Barbie dolls and Baby Alive. If we had brothers there might be a stretch Armstrong and some Hot Wheels thrown in. However, how many of us played house. Traditional ‘play’ acting for girls and boys alike. Mimicking our parents and grandparents or people we may have watched on television. Is this where we learned that we wanted to have that perfect life? Did the those folks really portray the perfect life? It’s what all the people against Barbie and Ken were fearful of, the ideas that people could be perfect. We played with the perfect Barbie, in her perfect clothes, her perfect corvette, and perfect Ken. Did we feel this was how life was supposed to be? Perfect?

How did you feel the first time you realized that life wasn’t going to be like Barbie and Ken living the life in the Dream House? I know I’ve felt cheated at times. I thought life was supposed to be all rainbows and marshmallows. Damn that fantasy! It set some high expectations that now I must reach or live disappointed. Trying to achieve that dream is what is driving me crazy these days (among others). How about you?

As a writer, and a goal oriented person, I tend to focus too much on word count. Whether it’s a daily amount or overall, I look at word count as a measurable. When half the time I figure my writing is crap and no one will want to read it at least I can say it’s 90,000 words of crap (I know I’m reaching). But how can one let go of that need to meet  the goal when writing is so subjective. I am asking because I want to know how you all out there do it. Do you feel content if you write a certain amount a day, whether you feel it is good or bad. Or do you look at the quality of what you are writing? Obviously, at some point we need to look at quality but when? And do we as writers ever really feel it’s quality? I know I might for a few minutes at a time but it rarely lasts.

This writing thing makes a job a Wal-Mart or Starbucks look appealing at times!

Laina

Today I woke up and was not ready to face the world. I wasn’t motivated to get dressed up and rush off to work. Not that I didn’t want to go to my appointments but rather I just felt like doping it in sweat pants or my pajamas. Who ever came up with the rules that you have to get dressed in the morning anyway? Isn’t that saying right there to judge a book by its cover? Shouldn’t we be judged by our merit not how cute my new Donna Karen suit is? Or how my hair and makeup looks?

What would happen if we all rebelled and showed up for work tomorrow in our pajama pants? Do you think we could make a statement? Would people even notice? Would it make us not so great employees?

As a professional I do get the point of needing to present yourself in a certain manner. But don’t we all have those days where we just want to less loose and be relaxed and comfortable, rather than professional?